October 17, 2012

Today I turn 34.  I have decided to journal about some of the feelings I have experienced in the last year.

The last year has been one of the best for my family.  We, hopefully, made our last move and are finally settled in a great city.  People are so friendly here and it is such a family friendly area.  I really love it!

My hubby's job is much more family friendly too.  He is home on weekends and has had the opportunity to coach the boys sports teams.  I have watched our relationship grow as we have more time together.

I have felt sadness and guilt seeing my oldest son say goodbye to his best friend, the first best friend I know he will always remember.  The friend, he had his first sleepover with and could play with for hours and never tire of.  I have also felt pride watching my oldest son make new friends at a new school and church and try new sports and enjoy them.

I have felt joy, relief and hope as I watched my middle child, who struggles socially, be greeted with excitement and  joy by other kids, when he arrived at school.  I have seen him play on the playground with an entourage of kids as I sat in the car crying my eyes out with joy.

I felt pride when I saw him perform in his school play and actually sing and dance with the other kids, (in the past it has been a "deer in headlights" approach).

The fear and nervousness I used to feel when I dropped him off at school, has been replaced with a peaceful, content feeling , that I know he is ready and he is gonna be fine without me around every minute.

He has made amazing progress this year and I have learned to become content with the fact that he does things in his own time frame and has his own way of thinking and THAT'S OKAY!!
I have felt thankful watching my baby girl, develop and grow into a sweet, talkative, little person.  She recognizes tone and facial expressions so much more then the boys in my house.  She is a little mother hen and I can't wait to build a friendship with her as she gets older.  Finally, I have someone who loves purses, shoes and getting a pedicure as much as I do!

I have also felt humility when we became the family with head lice and I had to make the calls to schools and friends whose homes we had been too (including the VP of the company my husband works for, who has 2 daughters with LONG, THICK hair, thankfully they did not get it.

I had to call another mother, in a twit, about my child having head lice, because her child was in my son's class, to explain, about how extreme I am and if anyone in the class has to have it, you can bet I will go above and beyond to get rid of it.

I  felt relief and gratefulness that all we were dealing with was lead lice.   I couldn't help but think if this women was this upset about head lice, (which I must admit is very inconvenient, but is not harmful to your health) what is she gonna do when something really worrisome happens to her children.  This was a drop in the bucket for us!

I also felt shame, because I always thought  my kids, would not be the ones to get it, because we are clean and wash our hair everyday, who knew the little bugs preferred fresh clean hair to a dirty mess.  Lesson Learned!

 


I have felt rejection, sadness and confusion when one of my  friends stopped returning my calls and texts. To this day, I still have no idea what I did wrong.  But, God blessed me with having a close friend go through the same thing, at the same time, what a difference that made!


I have felt surprised at how much contentment I have found writing a blog.  Creating something, having something of my own and being able to share everything from God's grace in my life to an outfit I wore, has been very satisfying to this stay at home mom.

I have learned that life is a gift and you will have good days and bad days, both teach us important lessons in life.  Embrace what you have today, because you never know what's coming. 

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