June 28, 2012

How do you enjoy the small things? How do you focus on raising your kids, what to make for dinner,  what should your child’s science project be? When you are losing sleep your husband will lose his job? When you can’t find a job? When the kids want to go for pizza but you spend the budget allowance on ice cream?

We picked up my daughters friend on the way to her birthday beach party. The mother came out to greet me. I had never met her. She had a house full of family as they were getting ready for a Saturday night BBQ. She was telling me that she and her husband had just gotten back from NY, where they are opening a 2nd law office. She thanked me and we were on our way.

I looked at my husband later that night and said “I never should have stopped working”. I thought of this working women and her family. Though I am not a jealous person, I was a bit envious. I think I am envious of her career, of the financial stability and the peace that brings. That peace allows you to focus on the daily life stuff. Granted, I have no idea what goes on behind others closed doors. Everyone has their problems. Just for the record I would not trade my problems for anyone else’s.

Let me explain, we are one of thousands of families that were hit hard in this economic mess. My husband blames the economy and I blame my faith, the universe, the bird chirping outside my window. He lost his job about 6 years ago. I had a great career and left to raise my kids after my first was born. He was doing well. Who knew that things would go so bad? Suddenly it didn’t matter how hard you worked, how brilliant you are, your college degree or your strong resume. I thought of this woman and admired the example she sets for her kids. She (and what she stands for to me ) doesn’t have to choose between pizza or ice cream. I pray to God to light our path.

My husband continues to interview, never losing hope. I turned to my creative passion and blog and sell my art. What I have learned through this hard ship is when you hit bottom…Pray. I learned the art of perseverance. I learned how to be grateful for the experiences and not the material things. I also became a cheerleader for my husband. Our marriage has never been stronger. I still have my “when will things get better?” moments. But that is what they are “moments”. They pass. Maybe this is my example to my kids , to smile through the stormy times. To push forward and try to always find another way. Out of change something beautiful and amazing can happen.

Maybe we are already on our lit path.

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